I woke to noises coming from the garage below my room. I didn't realise how much I had slept in it was almost lunch time. I had be up and down all night needing to go to the toilet as the baby was pushing on my bladder and every noise I heard throughout the night I would jump at thinking it was Jay.
I pulled myself up slowly and walk to the stairs that I had been pushed down the day before. I wiped away the sleep that was still in my eyes and climb down a few stairs. "Jay! Is that you?" There was no response and the noise have stopped. I continued down the stairs. I know I wasn't dreaming that there were noises coming from down stairs.
I continued going down the stairs. Every few steps I would call out to try and get an answer but nothing.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs straight ahead of me was Jay's hotted up car. I couldn't work it out there was a hose of some sort going in through the car window and it was gaffe taped it was then I noticed that the car was running but no one was in the car.
I followed the hose to its origin and it was connected to the exhaust. What the hell was this?
Then from behind me I felt something hit me in the back of my head. It was that hard I fell to my knees. As I went to turn I saw Jay's face. He had completely lost it. His eyes were so grey and opened wide. He pulled me up by my hair and walk me to the other side of the car opened the door and tried to push me in. I struggled with him using all my strength. " Jay please let me go! What are you doing, please Jay no!"
He over powered me and next thing I know I am in the car and the door was closed behind me. It was so smoky in the car and I was finding it harder and harder to breathe. I tried the other door and it wouldn't open he had put on the child lock. I tried the door where Jay was standing and it too must have had a child lock on. I tried pulling the little piece of hose from the window and pushing the tape but it was no luck.
I cried and begged Jay to let me out. "Jay!!! Please I don't want to die, think about our baby, please, please, please Jay" I was finding it harder and harder to talk by this stage I was coughing and started to feel really weird and extremely dizzy. Just as I thought to myself 'this is it, I won't see my baby, mum, Barry or Pa again' Jay opened the door and pulled me out. He looked at me and with a steely voice said " make me look like a dick head again and you will not get out next time". I don't know why but I just hugged him and couldn't stop saying "I'm so sorry Jay, I won't do it again, thank you for letting me out". I don't know why I reacted like this, maybe because I could have died.
Jay started to be nice to me after this for a while. I think he may have been worried I would tell someone what he had done. He got me a juice and told me he was going for a drive and would be back soon. I assumed that he was going to smoke his pot.
I just sat around. I wanted to call my mum but what could I say? I didn't want her worrying. I didn't want to tell my friends because they would hate Jay and if I was going to have a baby with him I wanted them to visit even though they didn't visit now because they all had their own lives I guess. I sat around feeling sorry for myself.
My baby was so very active this day. I could feel bub kicking me and moving a lot. My back was really sore. I sat holding my belly and talking to my baby.
I told my baby how sorry I was that I wasn't strong enough to stop what has happen and that it's daddy didn't mean it he was really sorry.
I told my baby that I couldn't promise I would be the best mummy or give it everything it wanted. I said I would make mistakes but I would do the best I could to be a good mummy. It was a very emotional conversation. During this conversation I was rubbing my belly and my baby was going nuts.
I listened to a lot of music this day. After my discussion with my baby I felt a little more relaxed.
A few hours later I heard Jay's car coming that noise is unmistakable. It was a V8 and he never drove it to the speed limit. This day though I knew he was not happy as he skidded the car around the corner then again in to the driveway. He quickly got out if the car, slammed the door and ran up the winding stairs. He rushed in the door and straight in to the lounge room. He threw a bit of paper at me. " I have just gotten out of the cop shop" he stated. I looked at him and said " why Jay what happened?", " I beat the shit out of Dan, he fucking deserved it after what he did to you". I froze my mind was spinning my thoughts were all over the place. I thought to myself ' what the hell has he done now'. He looked at me and said "I have to go to court next week" he turned and walked away.
Next week arrived.....
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