Staying with Layla and her baby girl.I felt relaxed for the first time in a very long time. At this stage Jay had no idea where I lived.
Layla and I went down town. I felt safe with with Layla as she didn't take crap from anyone. She had been through similar to me with her ex Stu. Though now they were on speaking terms because of their little girl.
Layla and I drove down town and had some lunch at one of the only take out places in town. It was really nice. The whole time I was there I was worried that Jay would walk in but this didn't happen.
After going shopping for baby clothes etc we went back to Layla's little car which was parked in the dark park out the back of the small shopping centre. Layla got in to the driver side and I had my door opened ready to get in when I felt hands on my shoulders. I got spun around. It was Jay.. I screamed as I didn't know what he was going to do and I was really quite petrified.
Layla jumped out of the car and went off "get your hands off her" she yelled as she pushed him off me. Jay looked at her, he had tears in his eyes " I just want to talk to her Layla, she's carrying my baby and left me and I have no idea why" he said calmly which was even more frightening.
He didn't know why?? Really??
Why did I feel sorry for him? I'm not sure but I am a softy at heart and I can't stand seeing people upset.
Layla kept telling Jay to back off. She then said to him "if you want to win her back you have a lot to do to prove you deserve her" she said this to calm him as he started to get angry. I could see his eye colour changing and when it hit grey look out that meant I was going to cop it.
Layla told him if he wanted to speak calmly he could see me at her house but there was to be no shit and no yelling. Jay agreed and followed us back to Layla's.
I look over that Layla and said " I'm scared Layla, he will kill me". Layla kept her eyes on the road and replied " not while I'm around Emily, he won't try a thing I promise you".
We arrived at Layla's we walked inside then I heard Jay coming up. I didn't know where to go. I wanted to hide. Layla told me to sit on her right away from the door.
Jay knocked and then walked in. 'Hide me' is all I could think. Layla said "if you want to talk then talk but no shit Jay I'm warning you". She got up and went to make me a warm milk. Jay sat down really close to me and touched my leg. I flinched, I didn't want him touching me. "Emily, I miss you, I can't lose you, I am so sorry". I think it was because Layla I seemed to get the courage from somewhere. "Jay you have hurt me and tried I kill me, I'm scared of you why would you do this to me?"
Jay got tears in his eyes then started to cry. "Emily I PROMISE I will never hurt you again, I don't know what was wrong with me". He cried harder and I really felt sorry for him. I put my hand on his and said " it ok Jay, please don't cry, I forgive you". At that moment I think I sort of did forgive him but looking back I was just too broken to see past his fake tears.
"Emily please come home" he begged. I told Jay that I couldn't just now I had to sort some things out but he could come and visit me. He agreed that I could stay with Layla as long as he could come and visit me.
He left not long after and Layla sat with me and made sure I was ok. We played cards and watched movies for the rest of the day. Layla was talking to me about labour and what I could expect. She made me feel comfortable and I also had a weight off my shoulders because I thought everything was ok with Jay finally.
Later that night I heard Jay's car pull up. He came to the door, knocked then walked in. He asked if he could speak to me alone. Layla again warned him and we went to my room.
Layla had a 3 story town house. If you got up the stairs and look straight ahead you will see Layla's bedroom door to the right and straight ahead was the toilet and next to that the bathroom. My room was around to the right at the top of the stairs. We walked in and sat on the single bed. Jay started yelling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was. I didn't respond I just let him talk. " I can't live without you Emily, I can't see you with another man". He reached in to his pocket and pulled out a little box. "Emily this is a promise ring, a ring that says you are mine and you own my heart". I didn't know what to say or do. He reach down and put the heart shaped ring that had several diamonds on my finger.
I don't know why but this little gesture made me reach out and hug him. Why is it that something so small can melt you heart. Maybe because all I wanted all any girl wants is to be loved. At this moment I heard the words I had wanted to hear for so long and I fell for it. Looking back I see a naive little girl being taking for a foul but in that moment I didn't see this I was blinded. Jay stayed for a while and just held me. He kept telling me he didn't want to see me with anyone else and to be honest at that moment I couldn't see him with anyone else either (again naive).
Jay left and said "have a good night and remember I love you". He kissed me and walked out.
"That looked lovely Emily" Layla said. I smiled and showed her my ring. She smiled and didn't say a word about it.
The next day Jay came over again and just say talking most of the day. He said that he was going out that night so I should have a good night with Layla. He left in the early afternoon.
It was a Friday (I remember this because the nightclub was opened and everyone went there even the under aged). Layla asked if I wanted to come with her so we could dance. I was so excited as I had not been out before and this would be good to get out and dance. I dressed I the best clothes I had that fit me being this far pregnant. Layla did my hair and makeup and made me feel like a million dollars (I was feeling fat).
She have me her birth certificate (this was in 1991 so you could use your birth certificate as proof of age back then). She schooled me on how to get in and to sign in as
L. Her last name. If anyone asked tell them my name was Layla.
We got to the club and I was so nervous. I walked up they asked me for ID and I showed them Layla's birth certificate. They quizzed me on her date of birth and mothers name (simple she was my cousin, I knew that). Then I was allowed to enter. We got inside and I saw the biggest dance floor I had ever seen.
Layla took me to a table that you stand around and she went to get drinks. She got me a cola. We stood around for a while then she asked me to dance. I was having a great time then I spun around and stood facing the other walk and who should I see standing there... DAN!! OMG I wanted to hide.. I grabbed Layla's arm and asked if we could leave. She was a bit out back, she had no idea what Dan had done or who he even was. "Please Layla!" I begged. She walked me back to the table and yelled over the music "what's wrong Emily?" I started to cry as I could feel Dans eyes on me. Layla said "let's go darl, it's ok". We walked outside and the bouncer asked if I was ok " Layla assured the guy I was fine and we went to her car.
Layla had already gotten in to the drivers side and was leaning across to unlock my door when I went flying. I hit my head on the ground. I was dazed for a minute then I realised Jay was standing over me screaming at me "you fucking whore, I leave you for 5 minutes and your off trying to pick up some other guy" he kicked me on my side. Just as he did this Layla realised what was happening and she flew out of the car. She punch hit in the side of the face " get away from her you piece of shit! How dare you fucking so that, try it with me big man come on" she screamed. I struggled to get up just as I was on my haunches I pulled the ring off my finger and threw it away. Jay saw this and tried to reach past Layla to get at me. By this time the bouncer at the door had arrived and he pulled Jay away. "What's going on here?" The bouncer asked. Jay stood there facing him and said "everything's fine mate". The bouncer looked at me and said "come on Darlin let's get you cleaned up" he said calmly while helping me up, he walked me to the stairs. I heard Jay screaming " if I can't have you no one can, do you hear me Emily?" The bouncer turned and walked over towards Jay I heard the bouncer say "fuck off mate or I will sort you out". Jay didn't say a word just got in his car and sped off.
I did realise at the time but I had skin off my hands, knees, elbows and side of my face. The bouncers wouldn't let us leave till I was cleaned up and they were sure Jay was long gone.
Layla drove me back to her house and we went inside.
The next few weeks I would hear Jay's car at night driving past when we went to bed. I hear him walk up to the house every night.
One night ....
0 comments:
Post a Comment