We drove out to a secluded part of the beach near my Pa's house.
When we arrived we walked down a sandy trail that was also covered in wild flowers. I was so very nervous as I didn't know Jay or his sister very well and as I said she was not part of the normal group that I hung around with. Steven was the familiar person as I did hang around his brother Ze everyday. I wasn't scared though just quiet and for me that was strange.
When we arrived Jay and Steven went for a walk up the beach and Jay's sister and I set up our towels ready to sun bake.
I really needed to go in to the ocean. To me the ocean was cleansing. I will never forget walking in to the ocean that day. The waves smashing against my legs and it was so very cold in the water. Once I was in to my hip area I bent down and went under. My mind was cleared. I know it sounds weird but at the time I had tears in my eyes as I wanted to wash away all my tears without anyone seeing them. I think I did on the first swim. It relaxed me.
After being there for a while I looked up to see where Jay and Steven had gone. I noticed Jay sitting on a towel, he had set up right next to mine and Steven was walking towards us. Steven yelled out to Jay's sister telling her Jay wanted to talk to her. She left the ocean and Steven came in for a swim. He swam up to me and reach out to give me a hug. I wasn't scared at all as his family and mine had been friends forever, he was kind of like a big brother to me. Steven leaned down and said " are you ok Emily! Really ok?".
I had tears in my eyes as he actually did care if I was ok. I managed to say "I'll be fine Steven, thanks for asking" he said if I needed anything at all to call him and he would be there for me. It was truly lovely and heart felt.
We mucked around in the ocean for a while and Jay's sister came back in whilst Jay just sat on the towel watching us. She came straight up to me really excited and said " Emily! Jay really likes you he just told me". I was a bit shocked and didn't know what to say. I honestly didn't think he was that cute (he wasn't ugly but also wasn't the type of guy I had liked previously).
A bit about Jay's looks. He was about 5foot 8 inches with sandy blonde hair, fair skinned and blue/grey eyes. He always wore a singlet or t-shirt with football shorts and thongs or runners. Nothing really stood out about him. He was just plain nothing extraordinary, I really wasn't picky about people but I need to know they have a good heart as my heart has always ruled me and having someone caring was important.
I said to Jay's sister that I really wasn't interested in dating anyone at this time (I didn't explain to her why but Jay knew). She told me it was ok but would I like to spend some time with them over the holidays. I agreed as they seemed nice enough and I had nothing else planned at that stage so we spent quite a lot of time together.
I stayed over at their house and met their mum and dad. Their mum was a lovely soul. She was very quiet and most of the time she kept to herself. Their dad was different, he was the ruler of the house and you knew it. His mum cleaned and cooked and the dad worked. Their mum did work but was expected to do everything else as well. One night when I was staying over Jay, his sister and I were play fighting and having a great time when Jay leant down and kissed me. OMG! I was shocked I pulled away and was a bit of a mess as I was not expecting that and after everything that had happened I felt a bit scared. He saw my face and pulled away. Jay's sister also saw my face and asked if I was OK.
Jay asked if I would mind going for a walk with him and he promised not to try anything. He apologised to me.
We walked down the road to the park. When we got there we sat of the park bench. Jay again apologise to me then he asked if I was OK. I told him I was sorry for acting like that but he knew what I had been through. He asked me to talk about it as it might help. I just couldn't do it. I said that maybe one day I could talk about it but just not now. He said " if you tell me who it is I will sort him out, I will make sure he pays for what he has done". I still couldn't bring myself to do it as the tears welled up in my eyes he just said "let's drop it, when your ready you will speak out".
We just sat there talking for a long time about everything but that. He asked about my family and I told him a bit about them. He wasn't being pushy just trying to be a friend I guess. After a while of these conversations he said "Emily, I know you've been through a lot and probably don't want to date anyone but I really like you and would love to go out with you". I don't know why, maybe because I was feeling weak but I agreed.
We started dating and this is when my life would change forever...
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