It was December 1990 when my last Instalment occurred. I need to tell you this.
That night after school I went home. Not long after I arrived home there was a knock at the door and it was the lady who lived with her partner at the flat with Dan. She asked if she could talk to me alone. Mum was inside and I told mum it was ok.
We went out the front and she asked what had happened ( Dan's brother had obviously said something to him about what had happened after Nigel told him what he thought). I froze and didn't know what to say to her as we weren't friends she just shared the house and was more Dan's friend than mine. She told me someone wanted to talk to me and asked if I would go for a drive with her. I wasn't thinking anything at that time so I agreed and ran inside to tell mum we were going for a drive.
She drove me to the flat and before we pulled up I started to hyperventilate. She assured me it would be ok and that she would be there and as soon as they had finished talking to me she would take me home. I honestly didn't think she would take me to the flat but looking back how naive I was. I think it was because I was so messed up, confused and broken that I wasn't thinking straight.
We walked down the side of the flat and jumped the ledge that led into the flat. Dan's car was not out the front so I thought it was just her and her partner that wanted to chat. When I got inside she led me to the kitchen and sitting at the table was Dan and her partner. I turned to run but there was someone in the hall behind me and to this day I don't remember who. Dan said " Emily it is ok I just want to talk". I was so scared and I knew I couldn't escape.
The lady told me to "SIT!!!!". She was so nice before we got there then she turned. I sat opposite Dan. She stood behind my chair. Dan said " why did you tell people I raped you?" I tried to talk but words wouldn't come out. I have had dreams about this happening but at this time it was real. Dan was trying to be really nice and trying to make me feel like what happened didn't happen. I just listened, well not really listen I zoned out. I was a mess and he knew exactly what he had done but because everyone was there he was trying to make me say "it's OK that didn't happen" but it did and I couldn't say what he wanted me too as what he was trying to do was make me lie and also make me more confused and blame myself.
He got frustrated that I wasn't talking but he didn't yell at me. He was trying to be the good guy. That good guy routine was not working on me. I finally got the courage up to say the words I hadn't been able too " I said No! Dan, I asked you to stop you held me down and covered my mouth, then when you were done you smiled" he looked at me and said nothing" I got up from the chair and the lady told me to sit again this time I pushed past her and ran pass the person in the hallway jumped the ledge and ran. I didn't stop I just kept running.
About 10 minutes in Jay's sister saw me and asked if I was OK. We had never really been friends but I thought it was nice that she asked. She asked me to sit with her for a while at a park so I did. Then the hotted up car pulled up and Jay got out. He came over to chat to his sister then he realized that I was there also and asked if I was OK. I didn't say anything I just nodded. He stayed for a few minutes then got in his car and drove away. I told Jay's sister that I had to leave and she checked I was OK and then said "can I get your number we are going to the beach tomorrow if you want to come" (it was school holidays). I gave her my number and said "I will have to see, call me tomorrow." When I finally got home mum asked what had happened and I finally told her. She was furious. She went to get in her car and go down to the flat but I begged her to let it go. I said " mum I just want it to all go away, please!! Don't go" mum turned around and walked back inside with me.
The next morning I got a call from Jay's sister and told mum she had asked if I wanted to go to beach with her and her family. I wasn't sure about going as I had only known her a few months as they had just moved to town and we didn't hang around each other at school. I found her a bit different. They had moved from the city to our small town. Mum told me it would be good for me to go to the beach and have some fun. I told Jay's sister I would go and she said " great! We will pick you up in an hour". I went to my room and got my bikini and my sarong on and waited for them to arrive. I heard a car in the driveway and it was the hotted up car. As I went to walk out mum yell " try and have fun Emily". I got to the car and the back door opened and when I looked in I saw Steven ( he was the older brother to a friend of mine at school we will call him Ze). He smiled at me and said "G'day Emily how are ya mate". I felt a bit of relief as I had known his family almost all my life. In the passenger seat was Jay's sister and Jay was driving the car.
I felt a bit embarrassed as I thought it was the family not just Jay, Steven and Jay's sister. My embarrassment came from the fact that Jay knew what had happened to me and so did Steven as I found out as he was in Skye's flat that night also.
This day was to start another chapter in my life ...
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