I have been getting so many encouraging comments and I am feeling really good today. Maybe because it's a new year and I am starting to get a little off my shoulders by sharing my story. I think mostly because I have so many wonderful people on this page helping me go on. I have to say you are all my encouragement. Thank you so very much.
We left off with my mother meeting a new man. I will go in to detail over the next few instalments with regards to his impact on us all. I will go in to his character also in detail.
During my childhood after moving to the mid north coast I had one very strong influence in my life and he will be the positive in my story as I go.
This was my Pa.
A bit about my Pa. He was always so good to us. Everyone loved my Pa. Imagine a man that was dark skinned and always toned. He had hair going around his head cut short and only a few hairs on the top (a bit like curly from the three stooges, which just happened to be his favourite show outside of the road runner cartoon). He had piercing blue eyes like the clear sky in summer.
He was in WW2 as a soldier. He use to have scares on the bottom of his legs. I would as a young child ask him about them and he only ever said he got them helping a friend. We where always told that he enrolled in the Army as a general soldier and got his trade as a mechanic.
I later found out that he didn't become a mechanic till after he got out of the Army. Those scares (in official records held in Canberra) were from him jumping out of a plane. His mate jumped first and landed on a mine and the shrapnel torn my Pa's legs to pieces. He was in the special forces or something like that. He tried to save his mate but it was too late for him. Pa was not afraid to tell the story he just didn't. He would never have wanted to be a hero he was just a man doing a job. But you will see he was my hero.
He use to always joke with my little brother and I. When my mum ever went to Sydney to see other family members we would be allowed to stay with my nan and Pa. She would always leave groceries and money in case we wanted to go to the pool.
Every morning he would sit at the kitchen table and have a cup of tea whilst we had breakfast. He used to say do you want to see a spoon burn? Of course we would say "yes please Pa (manors were enforced by my mother so we were always polite but it didn't matter with Pa as I never wanted to disappoint him). He stirred his cup of tea then shook off the excess tea blew on the spoon and touched my hand with it (it didn't burn as he cooled it, it was just warm) I would always pull my hand away and laugh. Funny this is such a small thing but it stays with me to this day.
One day I asked if I could go to the pool and that I was meeting my aunt in-law (we'll call her Kylie) and her baby. Pa said "here is five dollars, you can pay to get in (50 cents) get a packet of chips (50 cents) and a drink (50 cents)" and bring home the change. Do not pay for Kylie!. I agreed and set off to the pool. The pool was about 1 kilometre away from my Pa's house but you could see it from there as you had to go over a huge flat paddock to get there.
I got to the pool and Kylie was waiting. She asked if I could pay her in and as I was only about 8 I didn't know how to say no, so I paid her in. When I got in I also got her a packet of chips and we shared my drink. I had a great time. I always had to be home before dark so we finished up and I headed home with my 2.50 change in hand ready to give it to my Pa. When I walked in I gave the change to Pa and he said "where is the other dollar?" Ever so calmly as he was always calm. I told him what I had done and he said "that is stealing" this was the first and very last time I saw my Pa disappointed in me. He didn't have to say anything I took myself off to my room and stayed there until he came to talk to me and explain why he was disappoint.
My Pa smoked Doctor Pat tobacco in a pipe and every now and then he would ask me to go the the shop and get his DR Pat. He would always give me a dollar and I would buy a pizza pie the best pies ever! They were a plan meat pie with bacon and a whole egg on top with a little cheese, yummmmm.....
When I was about 5 my biological father came to visits us (I was so excited as he always brought me the best present. My little brother not so much he always said to my mum that he wasn't his but I'm telling you all now that he looks exactly like my biological father only with darker skin.
I remember being in a little back yard and a bee stung me on the leg. I screamed and my biological father tried to calm me down. All I kept saying is I want my Pa. So he carried me down the street to a garage where my Pa worked I cried all the way. He put me down when we got there and as soon as I was on my feet I started crying saying "I want my Pa". My Pa came running out and picked me up all I could say is "it bit me" my Pa took me inside the workshop and got a pair of pliers and pretended to removed the bee sting (I didn't know that my biological father had already removed it). He then got the brown stuff (betadin) kissed my little leg and I was fine. We went back and I decided to play out the back again. This time a frog jumped on my leg and I thought it was a bee again so off we went and the whole process started again. My Pa always seemed to fix me. Just being in his presence made me feel safe.
There are so many little things that you will hear throughout my story about the wonderful man and how he saved my tiny soul and showed me that there are good men out there. But as I was going to find out they are few and far between...
That night when I was taken to bed there was the sound of smashing glass. My mum came in to our room to check on us then she told us to close the door and not come out. I could hear my mum running around as she did making sure the windows and doors where locked.
What I heard that night will never be forgotten. I heard drunken ranting and more glass smashing the I heard me my scream "NO!" Then I heard loud thuds coming from down the hallway. My mum and dad were playing games again only this time I knew it wasn't a game and this time I was petrified. My brother was holding me around the waste so tight and all I heard him say was "sissy is mummy OK". This went on for a while. I then heard sirens and the door bang closed (he had left) the police and ambulance arrived and they couldn't find him. Mum was a mess again. So much for trying to do the right thing and let him see us.
Back then I thought he was great as whenever I was with him alone he would spoil me but add alcohol and you saw a whole other side an evil evil side....
Mum always told people when they saw her that she ran in to a door of fell over or something. I remember thinking that that is not true and why don't you tell someone the truth even at that young age but as you will see with my story as it goes on it is not that easy.
I wish I could say this was the last time but you will see in my follow instalments this is fat from over. I was still so young. What would follow and the life I was about to lead scares me even now...
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