I know I keep putting off my first date but going through this process gets me remembering all the things that have happened during my life. I promise to get to my first date soon but I have to tell this part of my life as it is important.
After the party incident Mum was really hard on me ( I understand now why but back then it was hard).
One night I went to have a bath after home and away. I told my family were I was going as usual. I don't know why I did this all the time but I would always say "going to have a bath" or going to the toilet" weird but that's what I still do to the day.
When you walk in to our bathroom which was between Barry's room and mine. To the left you had the shower you walk to the edge of the shower and in front was our bath, straight ahead was the bathroom sink. We had a window above the bath that had misted glass and slid up and down it had a latch. The bottom left corner of the top bit of glass had about an inch chip in it.
I ran the bath and got in and was washing myself. I had the strange feeling someone was watching me. I looked at the window and I could see an eye peeping through the small chip. I didn't scream I just froze. I was petrified. I yelled out to mum once I got the nerve. She didn't hear me because of the TV. The eye disappeared and I heard the foot steps going cross our back veranda. They didn't disappear down the stairs from what I could hear so they must have gone inside. I jumped up and threw my towel over me. I got through the bathroom door then the dining room door and then I saw who it was. It was Arthur. He looked at me and didn't say a word. I think he knew I wouldn't say anything to Mum and I didn't again..
I hated Arthur and I was always fighting with him. I missed my Dad. Even though he did what he did I missed him. I guess I was just a kid in a separated family.
I had been allow to go visit a friend that lived 2 doors down. We hatched a plan to run away. We decided we would run away to Sydney to see my Dad. The plan was to go to the bus stop down town near our library that picked people up to go to Sydney ( at that stage it was a good 8 hour trip). So at 12pm we put the pillows in our bed and made it look like we were still in them (she at her house and me at my house) we left a note for our respective mums and got our bags we had had packed for days and hidden under our beds. We walked downtown and waited at the bus stop... I turned to her and said " do you have any money?" She replied "No" so we turned around and went home. When I walked up the back stairs of my house my mum was sitting there waiting. She was so upset. She had heard me leave and read my note but didn't follow me as she knew I had no money and would come back as soon as I figured out there was no hope of getting on a bus. She told me to go to bed and we would speak in the morning.
The next morning being a weekend I sat with Mum at the table and told her I hated it here and that I wanted to live with dad. Mum said " if you want to live with your Father I will call him and ask but Emily you will learn the hard way that it won't be as easy as you have it here. It is your decision though".
Mum called my dad and he agreed. I was leaving the next weekend. I was so excited but my mum was breaking to pieces as at this stage I only thought of my dad as awesome even after everything he had done but mum knew him and the real him with alcohol and she must have been scared for me. She never said anything more.
I went to school the next week and said my sad goodbyes to everyone. The day had come and Barry said " you can't leave if you do I will take your room" he was being tough but inside I think it hurt him. We packed my things in the car and Mum, Barry and I went all the way the The Entrance.
The Entrance is a beachside town and as soon as we go there I feel in love with it. I think it was because of my Pa living in a beach side town.
We got to the address my mum had been given and pulled in to the driveway. On the right of the driveway was a lovely house on the left a caravan. Mum got out of the car and as I went to get out the caravan door opened. I tall blond headed lady stepped out. She was pretty but not as pretty as my Mum. After she got and close to the car a young girl followed her. The ladies name was Lexi and the child that followed was Corrina (her daughter) she introduced herself to mum and said she was dad's girlfriend and that he had to work late and then had AA and he would be home. Mum was nice to her but I could tell she was also being a bit cold. I think more out of worry than anything else. Mum helped me get my stuff and we took it in to the Caravan (yes that is where they lived). As you walk in the door straight ahead is a table with two seats either side that fit 2 people either side. Directly to your left is a slide door and a double bed we turned to the right and walked past the tiny kitchen on the right on the left the toilet into a room at the end that had 2 bunk beds either side. I was a bit put off as I had my own room at home and I had to share with this 8 year old girl that I didn't even know.
Once I had everything unpacked it was about 6pm. Mum had by that stage had a coffee and Barry had nothing. Mum turned to me and said " Emily it is getting late and I have a long trip I have to leave now". I ran over to her and hugged her so tight and told her I loved her. You could tell her heart was breaking. Barry gave me a hug when we got to the car. I walked around with mum and she hugged me again and whispered in my ear " if you need anything, if anything happens call me I will come straight away, I love you!" I said I would be fine and she got in the car and drove away. Barry just looked out the window he looked sad. I was going to miss him and he didn't even get to see dad.
It got to about 8pm and dad still wasn't home. Lexi went in to the house and a guy came out (Paul). She introduced him to me and said you and Corrina go with Paul down to KFC and get some dinner by the time you get back your dad should be here. So off we walked. We ordered out food and returned home. It was nearly 9pm when we got back. Lexi said we couldn't eat till he got home. I found this strange but who was I to argue. About half hour later the caravan door opened and dad came in. He came running over and hugged me so tight he told me he missed me etc etc, he was soooo drunk he was slurring his words and could stand up straight. Finally we said down to dinner to have our KFC. Corrina and I said on one side Corrina and Lexi were closets to the window dad and I sat on the outside. We started chatting and all of a sudden mid sentence he jumped up and started yelling at Corrina for eating the chicken with her finger " Corrina how many fucking times do I have to tell you not to eat with your fucking hands". Lexi tried to calm him down by this strange he was stand right next to me and Lexi was stand near the doorway to their room. He rang over and punch Lexi in the face and started going off. I don't know why or how I did it but I got between them and said to him " if your going to hit her you have to hit me first". Instantly he started to cry and went outside. I was shaking. Lexi didn't say anything. After a white I opened the door to see him sitting out the front by himself crying. I went and talked to him and said "it will be ok dad everything will be ok".
A month or so later I started school at the local high school and we had moved to long jetty. We were 2 streets away from the beach. I made a few friends and I really like this boy called Travis. I spoke to Lexi like she was my friend. She said to bring Travis back to meet her so I did. I hadn't ever done anything before with a boy and I wasn't even thinking about doing that with a boy at this stage. At the age you want to kiss and hug and that is all.
Everyday I had the same routine when I returned home from school. I wet straight to my room but my bag away got a change of clothes went and had a shower and got changed in the bathroom then I went to play at the saltwater pool with my friends. It was an ocean pool. One day when I came home I went to my bedroom and Lexi was sitting on Corrina's bed. She started talking to me and then said " get changed in here Emily!" I said " I'm just going to have a shower" she got really pushy and I didn't understand why but when I returned from the shower I realised exactly why.. She had Travis under my bed and he wanted to see me naked (Travis was about 18 I think from memory, I was only 14). I was so upset but didn't say anything at all. I did tell Travis to get out and Lexi got really angry with me. I didn't tell dad when he got home as I knew he would lose it.
Every now and then dad would send Corrina and I out to the video parlor. He would give us money (only when he was drunk) and tell us to go and have fun. Every time this happened the next morning when we woke up we would see Lexi had a black eye or bruising. He didn't want to do it in front of me.
One night Corrina and I were told to go to our room. We did what we were told. We had a bunk bed and because I was bigger I slept on the top bunk as Corrina couldn't get up and down. We went to bed and then I heard the loudest bang I had ever heard it shook the wall. Corrina jump up and started to cry. I go down and just held her as we listened to my dad beat her mum. Lexi was screaming and dad yelling at her. The evil had come back. I had flashbacks and all I could think is cover Corrina's ears. The screaming continued and then all of a sudden there was silence. I was petrified. The door opened to our room and dad walked in. He looked at me and Corrina and said here kids go to the video parole (by this stage it was 10pm). We took the money but we just sat around the corner and waited for an hour or so. The whole time I kept telling Corrina it would be ok.
The next morning when we got up dad had gone to work. Lexi was standing in the kitchen. Both her eyes were black she had blood stains on her head and hair missing. She looked at me and screamed " see what your fucking father does, your nothing but a fucking slut". I stood frozen and didn't understand why I was getting the blame but I just turned around and walked outbid the house. When I returned dad was at home sitting on the lounge. As soon as I walked in he looked at me and his eyes were vacant. He got up and yelled " you fucking little slut, your a whore!" I said " dad what's wrong I haven't done anything wrong" he then proceeded to tell me that I had done a strip in my room for a boy and Lexi had seen it so there was no need to lie. I didn't know what I say I didn't want him to hit Lexi but this was a lie. I said " I didn't dad I would never do that" he proceeded to tell me to fuck off and that my nan was coming to get me. He called her and said to me whilst pushing the phone at me " tel your grandmother what a fucking slut you are" I started to cry and Nan said " Emily listen to me. Do not argue with him. Leave the house and I will call your mother, don't say anything until I tell you and all you are to say is yes nanny" I listened while she spoke and told me if I spoke back he would lose it.
When I got off the phone I walked out the front and went around to a friends house. I stayed there for a very long time then my mum arrived to pick me up and take me home. Mum called dad and told him a few choice things then she said she was taking me home.
We got home and Barry was really cold to me. My cousin had taken over my room and things had changed. But I was glad to be with my mum and Barry again....
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