FIFTY SIXTH INSTALMENT

FIFTY SIXTH INSTALMENT

From the moment I had the call that changed my world I spiralled almost out of control. I had given up cigarettes 3 years prior to this day and the next morning I went to visit my friend Denise at her house. She was smoking and I asked for one. I ended up buying a packet and I was smoking again. Ava was in day care during the day and I was lost. My husband had cheated on me then he called and told me my Pa had passed, I wasn't going to the funeral so I couldn't see him or say goodbye. My letter that I gave to Tina was my only way to say goodbye.

The day of the funeral I was a mess. Everyone was going to be there but me! I felt terrible but there was no way I could afford to flight back home as I had rent, food and every other bill to pay by myself and raising a child by yourself is not easy when you have to pay for everything yourself. I called Mum on the morning of the funeral and spoke with her a while. She knew I was devastated about not being there and I made her promise to say goodbye for me. 

I didn't return to work after this as I really couldn't bring myself to get up and go. I got a single parents pension to help with the cost of living and raising Ava.  Those that have had this pension will know that you have to stretch every penny. Looking back I should have gone back to work and kept going but at the time there was no way, I could hardly function. 

I started to go out with Kelly more often. We would go out every weekend Friday and Saturday nights. I started to drink a lot on these nights out (Ava was always babysat by an older friend of mine on these nights and I would pick her up in the morning). We would start drinking with friends at Kelly's house a bottle of pink champagne. We wouldn't get to the pub until 9:30pm when we went out. After a while I made so many new friends at the pub. As we lived in a navy town there were always a lot of sailors out. The two Mouri bouncers loved me. Whenever I walked in to the pub they would walk me to the bar and buy me a drink. I never had to take money only for a cab as we were always tipsy before we got there and one of the guys would always buy me drinks, so by the time we were ready to go we all put in for a cab so the cost was always split. We would never leave before the pub closed 3am.

When Tina got back from New South Wales she joined in on the partying. She was always up for a party. Every time I went out there were guys trying to take me home. I was not up for this and there was no way I would bring them home when I had Ava in the house. I didn't want her to see this. I was a country girl that had never been able to go and party because I had responsibilities but Pa going I did just that.

A little about Kelly. Kelly had beautiful strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes and was slim. She did fake tan before fake tan was popular and she always went all out when going to the pub. Looking back she thought she was perfect and if someone didn't pay her attention she would brush them off. She didn't like any of her other friends getting more attention than her. We got on but I didn't like that she had two kids at home and didn't spend any time with them. She was so in to herself and always left them with a sitter and it wasn't the same sitter it was a different one every time. She and her husband split up just before Grant and I so I think I spent time with her because she understood what I was going through. More on Kelly later.

I was at this stage a real girly girl and always dressed to impress (maybe impress the other sex). I was 19 and had a good figure. I wasn't up myself but I did know that I looked ok. I would wear short skirts and crop tops with a jacket showing off my lean body. My hair was dark, very long with spiral curls. When I went out I held my head high and was confident but inside I was very insecure. I guess this came from not having a real father around (apart from Pa). 

I made a good friend (Jodie) who I started going to the gym with. I had decided that I wanted to join the police and she wanted to join the navy so we decided we would train together. We trained 6 days a week, twice a day. Ava would be at daycare all week so that was easy enough and she would come with us on Saturdays. I started training with the clearance divers over on the Navy base. Jodie cut her training back to once a day but not me I was focused. I won't brag but after a few months I was very toned and looking fantastic. This got the attention of more men when we were out.

We were walking home from the shop (Tina, Ava and Jodie) when I saw a white commodore, it was hotted up and you could hear that it had a V8. It stopped at a set of lights and the guy driving looked over at us, he didn't smile just looked. I said "I'm going to have him" laughing.

A few months later we all went out again and again I had dressed to impress. I wasn't looking for anyone as I had finally got used to being on my own with Ava and was enjoying it. We were dancing and this guy walked past. I was a little tipsy and I turned around and pinched his bum. He spun around and looked at me. It was the guy from the car. He smiled then walked away. Not long later he came back I didn't see him coming. He grabbed me around the waist and danced behind me. I spun around ready to slap him when I realised who it was. We danced for a bit then he went to the bar and got me a drink and brought it back. "Come with me" he said as he gently grabbed my hand and led me away from all my friends. Kelly gave us a death stare then she came over and pushed him away telling him I wasn't interested. "Kelly! It's fine I'm a big girl" I said to her. I wasn't too worried as everyone knew us and I was always going to be safe as everyone loved us.

He lead me out to the beer garden where all the pool tables were and it was a bit quieter. "I'm Adam" he said to me whilst leaning in to my ear. Adam was over six foot tall, tanned, mousy blonde hair and blue eyes. "I'm emily" I said in to his ear as he was still leant down beside me. A lady walked past carrying a basket of roses and Teddy's (I had so many of these Teddy's as guys always brought them for me when I was out) Adam tapped her on the arm and brought a rose and a beautiful teddy. "For a beautiful lady" Adam said as he handed me the gifts. My heart skipped a beat all I could think is what a gentle man. He leant in and asked if he could kiss me.....